Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

This is a line from the song “Dance With My Father”.

We all know that we will die. We know that our parents will die. And when you get to take care of your parents in their older years, you think about their mortality more and more. You talk about “bonus years”, how you will miss them when they’re gone.

So how can this line make so much sense? Why is it such a surprise when they go? Why would you “never dream” that they would be gone?

I think it’s because the pain is too unbearable, too unthinkable, that even if we say the words, they never really sink in until it finally happens. It’s not a pain that you can ever imagine, not something that you can prepare for, not something that you can somehow lessen by anticipating. When it does happen, there’s no escape.

I thought that he would get better. I thought that we would have a bit more time. I honestly never dreamed that he would be gone from me.