Fangirling 101

Don’t take this seriously. Or do, because I’m not the boss of you. Be free, fellow fan.

The Science

Ah yes, discovering a fandom, liking it, becoming one with it, and transforming into a die-hard fan – otherwise known as: fangirl/fanboy.

How do I even begin to explain the process of transformation from normal, sane person into an obsessed creature of the night? Hmm, let me try… IT JUST HAPPENS. You stumble upon this innocent-looking book/movie/TV series/mothereffing band and casually do your research about them, then BAM! Suddenly you can’t stop thinking about it. You can’t stop looking at it. You can’t stop talking about it. I don’t think I can find the right words to describe how it feels to be part of a fandom. You don’t choose to live the fandom life, the fandom life chooses you. It feels like something has latched on to you and its sole aim is to rip your sanity apart.

Fear not, though, for the negatives are counterbalanced (and mostly overshadowed) by the positives. The happy, satisfying, exciting feeling of being a fan of something is absolutely worth it. You ain’t a fan? You missin’ out on some awesome shit, my friend.

Now you must know that once you’ve become a fangirl/fanboy, there is no going back. There may come a time when you are no longer interested in a fandom you used to love, but trust me when I say you will find another one to replace it with. Not being a fan of anything is a sad, boring thing and you won’t want to go back to that. So you’re stuck.

Good thing I’m here to help you.

Goodbye, Sanity

Hello to rants, sleepless nights, and your wallet crying for help (why is merch so expensive? *weeps*). The first step of being a fan is accepting the fact that whatever this is you’re fangirling about has already consumed you – and you shouldn’t be ashamed of it. You are devoted. You are committed. IT’S BEAUTIFUL. Are people calling you crazy? Family members are giving you that sigh every time you step into your sacred temple (aka your room)? Friends are complaining that all you ever talk about is your fandom? Do you not give a shit? Then you’re on the right path.

Hot N’ Cold

Exhibit A:

Damn you, Harry Styles. Why did you have to be such a manwhore! Are you happy now? You got a whole freaking album written about you. You’re a joke now! I’m done with you. Oh yeah… YOUR HAIRCUT SUCKS.

5 mins later…

Harold Edward Styles, with those mesmerizing emerald eyes and that angelic voice. You are judged all the time and it’s just so wrong. No one understands the pain you go through. Come here to mama’s arms, I’ll shield you from harm. You’re safe, baby. Sing for me while I shampoo your soft chocolate curls. You will kill it in Dunkirk and a certain snake can SUCK IT.

This is perfectly normal. I know that you’re obsessed with *insert fandom here*, but obsession leads to frustration, frustration leads to anger, and anger leads to hate. It makes you happy and it kills you at the same time, doesn’t it? Then you’re allowed to love it and passionately hate it at the same time, too. I know I said that you should be devoted and committed but, hey, they take your money and they don’t even know you exist. Justice must be served. (Chloe: PREACH.)

Recruitment

You shouldn’t be alone. You must drag other people down with – I MEAN – you must let other people be aware of the awesomeness that is your fandom (or fandomS because OH YEAH, why have one, when you can have them all? And you will.) Fangirling is much more fun when you can talk about everything you’re passionate about with other people who actually understand you or, even better, like the same things you do.

P.S. Thou art allowed to hate on fellow fans as well as, especially if they are: prettier than you, luckier than you (damn you people in the VIP section), and ‘fans’ who have no mothereffing clue what the fandom is about (looking at you, bandwagon people) so as long as thou doeth it privately. Have some class, you peasant. (Chloe: PREACH.)

Fan Lingo

To help you when you make an FF (fan friend).

  • Feels – short for feelings.
  • Fluffy – when something is so cute (mostly romance-related) that you might actually die.
  • I’m gonna die/I died – not really.
  • I literally died/crapped myself/cried blood – not really literally.
  • I can’t even – when you have no words. The feels are just too much. When you’re in danger of spontaneous combustion.
  • Asdfghjkl – something you say when you can’t even.
  • Heart eyes/crying/gun emoji – when the level of can’t even-ness is too much you can’t even type.

Pledging Allegiance

Also known as defending thine fandom’s honor forever and ever ’til death do us part amen.

Someone told you Harry Potter is crap literature (How DARE they)? Go all Voldemort on their ass and Avada Kedavra that sucker. Someone said that Hamilton sucks (Again, who even DARES)? Blast that mix-tape on full volume and watch as their eardrums get destroyed. (Sandy: I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love.) Someone asked, ‘Who is James Bay (Have you been living under a rock)? Get a guitar and smash it on that person’s head. (Sandy: His very cheekbones will smite you.)

I’m exaggerating, obviously, but do you get what I’m trying to say? If someone’s insulting something that you love and you feel the need to defend it, then by all means, go – you are ALLOWED to. We don’t have to be violent. Subtle ways can include sub-tweets, hashtags, or even private ranting. Defending doesn’t always mean striking a counter punch at your opponent, sometimes it means staying strong despite the attack (damn, I am deep). But we are obsessed little shits and sometimes our automatic response is, ‘Oh no, you di-iin’t!’ If you can’t help your violent tendencies, just remember that you have fellow fans… and we don’t want to be shamed, muggle.

P.S. if by some reason your fandom dies (no more sequels/updates, became irrelevant, retirement, *gasp, choke* death), then you are free from all responsibilities of allegiance to that fandom. (Chloe: LIES. JOBROS FOREVER YOU HUSSY)

The Interweb

Memes, fan art, fan accounts, vlogs, fanfiction, and so much more can be found on the internet. And it is glorious. Plus points if you actually become a contributor!

Inauguration

I believe you are now prepared to face the world of fandoms. I hereby pronounce you a legitimate fangirl/fanboy. Good luck, young padawan. May the force be with you.

(Image courtesy of Tumblr)