I put off writing about the final regular episode of Downton Abbey because I did not like it. At all. I hated it.
It all boils down to the two sisters. Edith finally accepts Bertie Pelham’s proposal, and everyone learns that not only is he the agent for his cousin the Marquess of Hexham, he is also the heir. When his cousin dies on holiday in Tangiers, he becomes the new Marquess, and Edith is set to become a Marchioness, outranking even her own parents! So when she and Bertie giddily announce their engagement at the breakfast table to
Mistress Bitch Mary and Branson, we all know what’s coming next.
Mistress Bitch Mary (MBM) cannot even wait a second before dropping the bombshell that Marigold is Edith’s illegitimate daughter. Gasp. We knew this was going to happen, but it did not lessen my anger for MBM. This all started from that episode in the first season when Edith ratted on her sister to the Turkish ambassador – remember that? And now we’ve come full circle, with MBM finally exacting her revenge.
Would you say that it’s on the same level as Edith’s letter to the ambassador? No, of course not. But this is MBM we’re talking about here. She has to do the foulest, most evil thing imaginable to her sister. And this is how it goes down: the night before, MBM’s mechanic/driverman visits Downton to prove his love for her, but she turns him away and insists that she does not love him. The next morning, he does go away, and MBM is shocked – shocked, I tell you! – that he didn’t stay to grovel and beg at her feet. She gets mad, so she takes it out on Edith and casually ruins her life over breakfast.
Of course Bertie is stunned and eventually calls it off with Edith. It actually makes him a wuss, but it’s quite understandable, given the times they’re living in. It just was not acceptable. And also? Edith you had every chance to tell him but you didn’t so really I love you but you did not help yourself.
Edith is heartbroken and resigned to a life alone, but not before telling MBM what we all think and what she should have been told from the first minute this show came into our lives: “You’re a bitch!”
But does it faze her? No, of course not. Because it’s MBM! I mean, her mother tells her she’s jealous, her father says she’s unkind, Branson calls her a bully and a coward – in short, they all finally said what we’ve been thinking these past 6 years. But not only does it not bother her, she gets rewarded for her sheer wickedness by getting the “man of her dreams”. (Oh excuse me while I choke on my vomit). Yes, MBM finally marries that Novocaine-addled car mechanic. Hooray whatever. Branson had to talk – no – SHOUT her into it first though. And I do mean shout. Branson’s scenes in this episode seemed to be all about pushing MBM to marry the driver and shouting at her that THEY’RE MEANT TO BE AND WHY CAN’T SHE SEE IT OH MY GOD.
You know why she can’t see it, Branson? Because there is nothing there! Absolutely nothing, that the show had to make you shout it at us because Fellowes knows this is the only way he can shove this down our throats. And no thank you, Fellowes, even if Branson busts a vein, this so-called perfect romance is crap on a turd.
You see why I waited a month to put all these thoughts down. I thought a bit of time would soften my feelings about this episode but apparently not.
I mean seriously. This is how you will end the series? It’s all about MBM, again? Six years of investment only for this? What the actual hell. The only thing that could happen to possibly redeem this is for the Christmas special to be all about Edith’s glittering, perfect, pristine, happy ending. We can only hope.